Obligatory Purgatory

HIGH SCHOOL REUNIONS:  You could not pay me to attend one of these things...I skipped the 20 and the 25 yr reunion and this year marks the 30 year and I still have zero desire to go. My instant reaction is that I am in touch with all the ppl from high school that I care to see already so...the event itself would not be something I am interested in...then I start self-analyzing...do I not want to go b/c I don't really feel that the present day ME is good enough...? Did I have loftier plans for myself that never came to fruition due to life circumstance and status? I have been pondering this a lot and think I have come up with the honest truth of the matter. A) There is much truth that I don't really care about the rest of the Powell River high school crowd - Aside from the handful of friends I have kept up with from that time - I couldn't give less of a shit about a majority of the rest of them. Plain truth. B) High school was such a shit time in my life - I am not dra...

These life moments...markers. Like when layers, rings of sediment of different colors, dug out of the ancient ground tell the history of their culmination. These markers flood back sometimes, it is like getting hit by a train...when you are nowhere near a train track. You find yourself disarmed and stunned by the power these markers still hold within you. I had a lighthouse moment in my life once...a person being my lighthouse...and I, the proverbial lost boat on the ocean, hit the rocks anyway. Looking back it seems so clear how lost I was that not even a beacon of hope that this person was could steer me straight. I am speaking annoyingly metaphorically - I know. Speaking plain would sound like a pitiful tale of regret and woebegone tale spinning. It is not really like that...just typical What If moments in life...self examination and self judgment. Things managed to fall into place....eventually. I just read the definition of "proverbial" 5x to make sure I w...