Football...
I recall in 1994 being so weirdly concerned that Miss A might be born on Superbowl Sunday....not sure why but...she came a couple days later....on Feb. 1st. I was happy she was born on the 1st. I have deemed that ppl born on the 1st of any month are special somehow (I was born Oct. 1st HA HA HA)...it is just something I created in my mind to increase my faltering self-esteem I'm sure.
Miss A is happily hungover today in Sydney, Australia I am sure after a weekend of birthday celebration and music festival-ing. Hard to believe she is 21...I love this shift...I still worry like a mental patient - cannot seem to turn off but I have spent the year turning it down to a bearable level of chronic concern...in truth it is the art of denial really...shove it all away, in a dark, secure place in your mind....not letting it out all at once. If I feel the door opening and it oozing out I abruptly slam the door and lock it to avoid meltdown. It is almost like a chronic state of anxiety but held at bay by a frayed piece of twine...Parenthood = A Lifetime of Psycho-Worry.
On the up side....She is marvelous and that, at the end of it all, is what counts. All my psychosis and mental problems (haha) mean very little so long as she is a-ok. <-- Parenting Martyrdom <-- I am good at this.
Talked with my mom this morning...been making a point to do that every week or 2...Always a mind boggling experience...though interesting...it is weird to know someone your whole life and still find out new things about them on a regular basis.
OK back to cleaning mypigsty piece of shit desk.
Miss A is happily hungover today in Sydney, Australia I am sure after a weekend of birthday celebration and music festival-ing. Hard to believe she is 21...I love this shift...I still worry like a mental patient - cannot seem to turn off but I have spent the year turning it down to a bearable level of chronic concern...in truth it is the art of denial really...shove it all away, in a dark, secure place in your mind....not letting it out all at once. If I feel the door opening and it oozing out I abruptly slam the door and lock it to avoid meltdown. It is almost like a chronic state of anxiety but held at bay by a frayed piece of twine...Parenthood = A Lifetime of Psycho-Worry.On the up side....She is marvelous and that, at the end of it all, is what counts. All my psychosis and mental problems (haha) mean very little so long as she is a-ok. <-- Parenting Martyrdom <-- I am good at this.
Talked with my mom this morning...been making a point to do that every week or 2...Always a mind boggling experience...though interesting...it is weird to know someone your whole life and still find out new things about them on a regular basis.
OK back to cleaning my