Obligatory Purgatory

I am not a dog lover really...they slobber, the poo and then you gotta pick it up in a plastic bag while it is still warm, they pee, they shed, they require attention - more than cats b/c to me dogs are more human-like than cats...dogs are like retarded toddlers, you cannot help but look after them and pay them attention b/c - you just can't. I will say Gnarly the lil Pug from upstairs is entertaining...you cannot help but smile the whole time he is around b/c he is just ridiculous cute with this one eye and the way he cocks his head to the side when you talk to him. Ayla wants me to desperately want a dog but it is not happening. The best part about Gnarly is I know he just lives upstairs and can be taken home any time, especially when he pees on the leg of my coffee table. I am terrified he is going to bite my tit too, he is a play biter and a spazz so it could friggin happen...gotta bra up when that little nerd comes over I think. A tit dog bite is NOT my idea of a good tim...

So much space...keenly aware of how much space I occupy. Don't get me wrong, I am typically hyper aware of how I will fit into spaces, which is why if there is a crowded bus I have to be pretty desperate to get on it...and when I do I regret it INSTANTLY.  My wish to be invisible is granted 95% of the time...trust me - if you want to become invisible just become fat and it is like a cloak of non-existence...unless you are experiencing the other 5% of time and some asshole is making you very aware of how invisible you are not. I am harder on myself than anyone else could be but there is something about someone else calling out my lard...with headphones on in public it is less of an issue...ignorance really is bliss...but every so often it happens. Who does that? Who goes around insulting people in public with the clear intention of humiliating them? I am surrounded daily by the homeless, the downtrodden, the addicted, the ugly, the scary...it would never occur to me to point ...

Seriously...cranky...irritated by the heat, the kid, the cat, the crazies, the time it takes the water to get cold from the tap, traffic noise, that I have laundry to do in the morning, that there is no headphone jack in my record player, that I do not have a personal fucking chef, that I missed Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros @ Rock the Shores, that my ass kid told me how awesome they were but didn't even get me a picture or a video snippet, that it is just gunna get hotter out today. Seriously.

As sad as I am to have missed Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros at Rock the Shores - it was a good choice due to the heat today. I would have perished. Neither Miss A or Hot Donna  (aka drunk shit heads) thought to send me some video of the performance either. Rude. I went swimming early today...the good thing about underwater headphones is you can listen to your music and block out the noise of children at the same time! DOUBLE BONUS. I am really loving the swimming these days now that I am back at it...just being really careful with the arm and neck business to to aggravate things with the nerve. So far so good. I stumbled upon this photo of me from 2007 that I do not recall ever seeing before...I am in typical form, fingering the camera whilst fleeing. Such a class act all the time. I feel like doing this in every photo I ever pose for. Once when Miss A. was really little someone said something to me that really freaked me out...that if I were to die at the time ...

Tonight is fancy ramen soup night...I blame Lewis for planting the ramen seed in my mind last night on the phone. He is a very strong proponent of ramen soup and all the glory it offers its eaters. GO RAMEN!

I finally tracked down someone I had been looking for on FB for a while...wasn't sure if the spelling if his name was Sean, Shawn or Shaun so it was a bit difficult....turns out his name is Sharlene now....so yeah that was a bit of a hindrance in my search. ha ha ha Same sad, pretty eyes though, easy to recognize. I made out with him once in high school so I am probably 6 degrees a lesbian twice removed or some shit now. How the world has changed in such a short time... My new stereo came...I have a boner. I am loading up a USB stick right now to try out. Sounds pretty good for a downsized version of my old beast. Certainly will take up way less room! I wish the whiny kid outside would STFU...happy screaming kids are ok...whiny screamers ones....piss off...your stupid parents and barky dog too. I am not in love with the downstairs people, can you tell? Oh apartment living... Miss A and I had the funniest time last night....we were on the couch watching a movie and the parking...

Not being able to eat what you want sucks. So does being fat though and right now the fat-hate is winning the conflict. It is so damn hot and dry here, it feels like the city could just start on fire any moment…need some rain badly…and there are still 2 traditionally very hot months left before it starts cooling. Yikes. Canada Day came and went, fairly uneventful…finally watched Dallas Buyers Club…but after seeing the Mark Ruffalo one about something similar (The Normal Heart) DBC did not traumatize me too much…great performances though without a doubt. Anyone actors willing to lose that much weight for a role are pretty damn dedicated. Shit, some of us cannot lose that much weight to save our own damn lives, let alone for a movie role. Work is a quiet place of tension these days. When people get fired without cause it casts a heavy cloud of tension over any office…by office I mean our little corner of it, I am sure 85% of the people on this floor  couldn't  give ...