Invisibility, it is a cloak of good fortune...
I had a very brief window of physical desirability in my youth - then I got knocked up. By desirability I mean when men would cat call and scream I LOVE YOUR TITS from across a bar (this is a skewed definition of desirability, I do recognize this)...was not a fan of such attention but it sadly did boost one's self esteem and somehow tugged it back down, simultaneously.
Having spent most of my life prior to this brief window and after being essentially invisible I can safely assert that being invisible has more perks (pardon that poor pun)... I was thinking about what a weird blessing it was at 20 to be too young and naive to truly understand how vulnerable I was - especially when partaking in ridiculous high risk behaviour (drinking, hitchhiking, telephone dating (haha), etc.). I wondered if my daughter has any true idea how vulnerable she is out there in the world...if she did I feel like she would empathize with my worry/spazziness more. She is creeped out much more easily than I was at her age which is a good thing...I hope I taught her the gift of fear and to listen to her spidey senses.
The sad part is one's appearance rarely has anything to do with bad things happening to women. There is a lot of sickness out there and we are all sitting ducks. I do often wonder how I would react in such a situation. It has been a very long time since I felt overpowered by someone else...it is one of the things that bothers me most about having messed up arms (nerve damage) - I feel like it will hinder me in a fist fight. I know this sounds silly but I have always relied on the comfort of knowing I could likely punch my way out of many situations if need be....I have no idea if adrenalin will trump nerve pain...hopefully I will never have to find out...or lift a car off a baby haha
So many things coming up....Dracula Ballet, new Thor movie, famjam visit, National Geographic thing at the Royal, Noah Gundersen in Vancouver, the Northern Pikes in Victoria, another famjam visit, A Perfect Circle in Vancouver, The Christmas Comedy show at the Royal, Aunty Cathy here for Xmas, 54-40 in Victoria, a few more operas, Letterkenny Live....I have got to cool it on the shows...hard to save money with all this business. I did opt out of Queens of the Stone Age and felt like a real grown up. Holding out for a Matthew Good tour to go with his new album that just came out....loving that...it is quite good...
Putting together these hampers for the local Transition House Christmas Hamper program is super fun...I have some gal pals pitching in some so it quite helpful. I do not know the women the hampers are for and have very limited info about their preferences but they have become real people in my mind and I am falling into some funny behaviours...like making sure each hamper is fair, that one is not getting more than the other....THEY ARE NOT ROOMMATES lol they will not know if one got the nicer smelling bubble bath or more items. If I had more than one child I would have clearly driven myself mad doing this sort of thing...lucky for the sprog she got EVERYTHING!
I just found a few fun ornaments for the tree this year....glass sweet pickles for Kim, glass avocado for the sprog child, a furry moose for my new dad...I love having tree ornaments that are representative of people...
I am dying to get that damn tree out...must...hold...back.....it is only October after all...this will be the 1st year I have had a big tree rather than 2 small ones...not sure how this will go with the damn cat...hoping she is too big now to bother trying to climb it and wreck my stuff.
Having spent most of my life prior to this brief window and after being essentially invisible I can safely assert that being invisible has more perks (pardon that poor pun)... I was thinking about what a weird blessing it was at 20 to be too young and naive to truly understand how vulnerable I was - especially when partaking in ridiculous high risk behaviour (drinking, hitchhiking, telephone dating (haha), etc.). I wondered if my daughter has any true idea how vulnerable she is out there in the world...if she did I feel like she would empathize with my worry/spazziness more. She is creeped out much more easily than I was at her age which is a good thing...I hope I taught her the gift of fear and to listen to her spidey senses.
The sad part is one's appearance rarely has anything to do with bad things happening to women. There is a lot of sickness out there and we are all sitting ducks. I do often wonder how I would react in such a situation. It has been a very long time since I felt overpowered by someone else...it is one of the things that bothers me most about having messed up arms (nerve damage) - I feel like it will hinder me in a fist fight. I know this sounds silly but I have always relied on the comfort of knowing I could likely punch my way out of many situations if need be....I have no idea if adrenalin will trump nerve pain...hopefully I will never have to find out...or lift a car off a baby haha
So many things coming up....Dracula Ballet, new Thor movie, famjam visit, National Geographic thing at the Royal, Noah Gundersen in Vancouver, the Northern Pikes in Victoria, another famjam visit, A Perfect Circle in Vancouver, The Christmas Comedy show at the Royal, Aunty Cathy here for Xmas, 54-40 in Victoria, a few more operas, Letterkenny Live....I have got to cool it on the shows...hard to save money with all this business. I did opt out of Queens of the Stone Age and felt like a real grown up. Holding out for a Matthew Good tour to go with his new album that just came out....loving that...it is quite good...
I just found a few fun ornaments for the tree this year....glass sweet pickles for Kim, glass avocado for the sprog child, a furry moose for my new dad...I love having tree ornaments that are representative of people...I am dying to get that damn tree out...must...hold...back.....it is only October after all...this will be the 1st year I have had a big tree rather than 2 small ones...not sure how this will go with the damn cat...hoping she is too big now to bother trying to climb it and wreck my stuff.