Obligatory Purgatory

It is here. ....muhahahahaaaaa

I have to start taking notes about stuff to blog about it seems b/c there is such a gap in time between posts (more on that later) that when I do get a moment to set for more than 5 mins at my PC I suddenly can't remember all my awesome ideas. It has been made apparently clear to me in recent days that this nerve problem is not going away anytime soon...I am intensely sad about this tidbit of realization. I am feeling really rundown and held hostage honestly so I am taking this weekend to buck the fuck up about it and get on with just waiting for it calm down so I can resume some semblance of a life, even a boring one. Here is just one part of the shittiness...I won't even bother explaining how painful it is to work 8 hrs a day at a desk...or how the bus breaking can make me feel nauseous if I twist the wrong way...this sad story involves bedtime. Getting comfortable is key...my bed has a wedge and 4 pillows to keep me propped up - I can only sleep on my back (I am not a ba...

Wednesday, February 16, 2005 A Compilation of Post-Virginity Recollections I collected these from people I know, some time ago and still enjoy reading....perhaps you will too. I love the various reactions and experiences....quite a vast range....mines in there as well...it was such a stupid experience....no magic involved WHATSOEVER. - Jen   Lame. Just incredibly lame. Actually, at the time, I thought it was good of course. Retrospectively I realize that she was little more than a living corpse! It was damn near necrophilia. I was 18, all graduated and living on my own, and fed up of all the *mystery* so, drunk me went out one night on the prowl, back then I could *prowl* -- I was cuter then. I wind up with this British soldier. I forget his name Oliver *something* Platt?? irrelevant. Anyway, uncircumcised which @ the time made no difference as I was not the penis expert I am now (I actually prefer the uncut penis as a grown up, because I know YOU wanted to k...

I recall in 1994 being so weirdly concerned that Miss A might be born on Superbowl Sunday....not sure why but...she came a couple days later....on Feb. 1st. I was happy she was born on the 1st. I have deemed that ppl born on the 1st of any month are special somehow (I was born Oct. 1st HA HA HA)...it is just something I created in my mind to increase my faltering self-esteem I'm sure. Miss A is happily hungover today in Sydney, Australia I am sure after a weekend of birthday celebration and music festival-ing. Hard to believe she is 21...I love this shift...I still worry like a mental patient - cannot seem to turn off but I have spent the year turning it down to a bearable level of chronic concern...in truth it is the art of denial really...shove it all away, in a dark, secure place in your mind....not letting it out all at once. If I feel the door opening and it oozing out I abruptly slam the door and lock it to avoid meltdown. It is almost like a chronic state of anxiety but he...