Obligatory Purgatory

This getting old business is funny...things you cannot even recall bothering you your whole life suddenly take on this massive importance, ruling your happiness. How did this happen? All these things are just more to add to my already (and growing) long list of neurosis'...and no matter how justified they may be in my head I know how they sound spoken out loud to a third party. What else sucks about getting older....Oh - those moments of crystal clear clarity (they are not the norm any more) where something you already know logically suddenly gets drilled home so hard that your emotional self has a moment of true understanding....like THE moment in your life when you were at a crossroads, though did not know it at the time, and the decision you made at that very fucking moment would ultimately lead you down a path of complete personal and emotional unhappiness. I had that moment this weekend out of nowhere, it was pretty surprising...luckily, the good in your life is not erased ...

I just made 3 batches of rice krispie squares.... Christmas struggles. I gotta work in the morning. House is a dump. Wish I drank.

I just woke up from a dream where our apartment burned down...and we were in the lobby of some other apartment bldg, with nothing but the clothes we had on...there were fired burning all over the place so there were a lot of people displaced. Days when by in this dream, I never knew what time it was or what day...I just waited for some direction of news....then I realized the cat was obviously burned up in the fire and told Miss A "Look, you finally got your wish to have no cat, happy?" {I am a dick even in my dreams}..I also said "Hey, at least we get a new couch now!"... then she went off to a friend's house and I just sat in this lobby...no one was being helpful...I eventually walked down to see my friend Tracey nearby, her apartment had been burning too...I walked through a funeral procession on Quadra Street, the local Money Mart had installed this strange royal purple carpeting..I stared as I walked by wondering wtf day it was when I looked at the hours si...

Well....RIP Scott Weiland. While it seemed like it was just a matter of time - it is amazing that he lived to be 48 honestly. I am amazed at the amount of abuse the human body can endure. Addiction. Evil shit. His poor children.... Listening to some old STP now of course, seemed appropriate. Lots of great songs, great words...forever immortalized in that special way that only dead rock stars seems to accomplish. The weekend is here...hallelujah. Life is rambling on fairly smoothly. Miss A is done work now and concentrating on her class...and the upcoming trip to California for xmas with the famjam in 2 weeks. Will miss her at xmas but it is good she is going to see her grandparents - they are getting up there after all and hanging with the family in Disneyland will be a hoot. Her and little Madelyn are going to have such fun together. After 3 days in D'land (aka Hell on Earth for ppl like me which is why I am not going) she will go see the grandparents and the rest of the fam...

 My kid snapchats me pictures of the cat being a dick...I think it is a sibling type relationship...she finally has someone to rat on.... #onlychildsyndrome