Obligatory Purgatory

NOBODY!!!! That was an incredibly nerve racking US election. I am not even American and I was fully invested. Obviously, today was "grief" day...where everyone had a whole day for it all to sink in. Gobsmacked is an understatement...the most maddening part is HRC won the most votes....yet still lost due to that electoral college BS. Canada has a similar set up currently, the person with the most votes does not necessarily become Prime Minister - voter reform in the works hopefully if the federal Liberals keep that election promise. The thing that really gets me is the vote splitting... Vote splitting is an electoral effect in which the distribution of votes among multiple similar candidates reduces the chance of winning for any of the similar candidates, and increases the chance of winning for a dissimilar candidate. All these people who just could not make themselves vote for HRC and voted for the ghost candidates, voting their conscience...oh go fuck yourself. Ar...

Worst blogger...ok maybe not BUT still.... So what is going on....let's see...Chris and his daughter are in Nepal having their 1st visit in 12 years - I am extremely excited to hear his account of their visit and what it was like for him. I have been busy dabbling in genealogy - my Aunty Cathy did a butt load of work on this about 10 years ago so a lot of it is already done and confirmed but it is interesting to see all the new stuff that is now online just 10 yrs later. Finding out some fun stuff....well mostly just having little light bulbs go off b/c I have known so much of this info just hadn't connected to dots. Seeing it all inputted online with photos (I am a visual person!) makes it click so much more. Picked up a some concert tickets today....Beach Boys...David Sedaris...Henry Rollins...a few opera shows...and tomorrow Adam Ant tickets go on sale! I have lured Adele all the way from Ponoka, AB to come see him in Vancouver in February!!!!! EXCITINGGG!!! She was al...

There - I said it. Blogging is hard. I am not sure if it is b/c we/I have become so consumed by the instantaneous nature of social media or the fact I have a rotten desk chair...I have a new chair coming soon which I hope will make sitting at my desk slightly less of a chore. Miss A arrived home from the UK last week, enamored with the place...she had a great time in Scotland and visiting London and Brighton Beach. The good thing about her coming home 1 day before school starts full time is there was no time to do that post-travel lament that she tends to do...she is always sad to come home, that girl loves traveling...a lot. So with no real time to make me go insane with her whining lament it has been decent around here. ha! Sent my Ancestry DNA kit last week....really excited to see the results, though I am sure the results will be mostly non-exotic European (boring) it will still be a kick to see the percentage breakdowns...I assume mostly Scottish with some British and Irish m...

What can I say....? Not having a comfortable desk chair is impacting my blogging schedule. Getting old has made for some interesting neurosis'...I have super human smell abilities right now (worse than when I was pregnant) which makes many things in life quite gross (cooking smells at night drive me nuts)....becoming sensitive to loud noise (most especially dishes clanging, and at night...much worse at night)...just over all less tolerant about things that never even registered with me in the past...the beginnings of menopause has been great fun...aside from the massive hair loss (FTW!) over the last 5 years and the dreadful period symptoms...now that the period part is sporadic and all over the map (generally unreliable which was the only good thing about it for the last 30 years) you never know when you are going to ruin some bed sheets or pants....30 years of fertility....gone...poof!...my eggs are no longer dropping....my ovaries ran out of eggs....this is a weird moment in t...

Ever had the staggering realization about just how massively insignificant you are in the world...? No self-depreciation here, just seriously legit awareness that aside from maybe 20 ppl my death will affect no one else...and within 6 mths those 20 will have moved on as well....and within not too long of a time after that they will all be dead and there will be no real trace of me on earth. Amazing...we spend our lives trying to convince ourselves how fucking important we are...how smart, attractive, funny, caring, etc...it matters so very little outside your little cocooned existence. Being nice to the people you love in the present tense seems to make the most sense and also LIVING life in the moment...I am so very shitty at that. Pretty sure I am entering the menopause zone...I could not be happier to be potentially rid of all breeding potential.

I love my family...all of them, even the ones I don't like...I still love them. Upon reflecting on my own personal attachment disorder (pretty sure I could pick one or 2 out of the DSM [Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders] that would suit me) I began to look at the tier above me in my family and see they all have something similar...go one more tier up...oh same thing....see a pattern here? I was determined to shower Ms A with love and affection and did so quite effectively...that came fairly natural...and my dislike of hugging does not extend to her, it never has...even during the 5 years of personal teenage hell - though I can assure you we did not hug as much as we should have during that time...I was too busy hanging a bag of pop cans on my bedroom door so I would hear her coming in to kill me at night. She is super huggy and affectionate to friends and family and this pleases me greatly...mission accomplished. It is a complex pot of life stew that has mad...

It is 9:47am on a Sunday and I am already showered, dressed and ready to leave the house. I am motivated by wanting to go get some succulents to plant outside in a few bare parts of the side garden...also I need to check my raccoon cayenne pepper trap. Since I discovered it was raccoons crapping in my side garden I dusted with cayenne paper and bought a motion activated croaking frog from the dollar store. Even though I won't witness the surprised raccoon I am very amused imagining the moment when the pooping raccoon (great band name - The Pooping Raccoons!) walks over to the area and is greeted by an obnoxious plastic frog croak x4. Ha!We get our kicks where we can get them at the age of 45. So, Kim will drive me on a succulent mission today...and I will make a spaghetti sauce later. That is the day. Where I work (being vague on purpose here) the big head head head honcho is coming Wed. for 1 hour, to bless us with her presence (not the head honcho you think if you know me but...

Canada...are you really that stupid that you cannot see that this latest silliness in the House of Commons was a setup? I did not even vote Liberal and it looks pretty damn obvious to me...in fact I am feeling like my NDP vote was cast in error after this bullshit. Mulcair looks like a desperate fool trying to make this stunt work. The last thing Canada needs right now is to compete for the 1st place idiot award against the USA...and that is exactly what this is - IDIOCY. What I cannot figure out is why the whip did not just down the other side of the aisle...unless he was part of it all...either way - it is ridiculous and I hope everyone involved feels the shame they should...naturally the media is not focusing on that - gawd no...I am detesting media more and more. They spoon-feed the masses and we lap it up like brain-dead morons for the most part. Canada is not much better than the US in that regard either so we need to get off our high horse thinking we are so much better than t...

I haven't had a desk (don't until tomorrow actually) since moving but I set up a tv tray for my keyboard to do a bit of computering this evening. Miss A is out and Kim moves in tomorrow...looking fwd to living room furniture...it has been well over 1 month where we either sit at the kitchen table or lay in bed haha My last eye appt was a Debbie Downer man....my eyes are now to the point that I need glasses for distance (which was the usual) but they have gotten bad enough that now I have to take them off for looking close up and that middle computer distance is a no mans land of friggin blindness... UGHHHH! So annoying...was hoping to avoid progressives but I think on my next eye Dr visit in 2 years I will have to relent. Add in that my eyes are severely dry (seriously...like zero eyeball lube going on, had to start using eye GEL, take supplements and wear a heated eye mask to bed (that stimulates the oil glands in your eyeballs by the way)...getting old is awesome. The Age...

...to wander around Vancouver. I forget that Vancouver is almost like a funny little island...with that said - no earthquakes this weekend please!

Kim: I have studied, discussed and seen a lot of art in my life. It varied greatly in style and approach. This is not art.   Jenny: Wow Alysha Farling I guess you aren't an artist after all. Hmmmf. Imagine that. Way to go dream killer Kim. In all seriousness, just b/c you do not like it doesn't mean it is not art. Not liking it is fine...being stuck up is something else. Back to you "expert". Alison: Well, art is whatever the artist says it is, in Dada speak. Justin: Agree with this comment. Matt: Looks like a pile of garbage.. A Far Away Land: thats because A Far Away Land: ...it is Kim: Jenny Actually you know NOTHING about me or my art work. I am an accomplished artist, who has supported themselves both via my own commissoned art sales and instruction. If you had read my comment closely you would have seen that I DO consider a wide variety of approaches to art to be valid, but "just because I want to" isn't now, nor has i...

vape  vāp /  informal  verb  gerund or present participle:   vaping  inhale and exhale the vapor produced by an electronic cigarette or similar device. People who vape....you are sucking from the teat of  destruction and you look silly standing on the side walk...appearing to play a flute...in public...little addicted flute players everywhere. And to be fair all you smokers stink and are gross and make my nose hairs curl when I walk by.... I just needed to say all that...you can proceed with your own judgements against me now about how I take up too much space in the world (well aware, but thanks) and have an old lady haircut (I know, shut up).... Today I got back to the eye doctor to get the lube in my eye measured to see if the eye gel and other things she told me to do that I don;t do are working. ha ha ha I am sorry but the omegas make me burp fish taste and I just can't deal...it is too gross...and the hot eye mask at bedtime for 10 mins ...

So....it is finally real. We move Apr 23 and I am going nuts. It is times like these when I realize how poor my coping skill set is. I am easily overwhelmed. I am laughing in my head right now at how civilized that sounds when there is nothing civilized about it. Funny how as one gets older 'change' seems to become more difficult. I used to not give 2 shits about going to the dentist, moving, changing jobs....now the dentist has become a source of anxiety (while not crippling still very weird), moving is extremely disruptive to my mojo in an indescribable way and changing jobs feels like a death sentence. Man, we used to move almost yearly when I was a child...Prince George BC, Vancouver BC, Regina SK, Swan Hills AB, Wainwright AB, Edgerton AB, Rainbow Lake AB, Regina AK again, Moose Jaw SK (I am 13 at this point)....then the divorce happened: Ponoka AB, Moose Jaw SK, Ponoka AB again, Red Deer AB, Powell River BC (now I just graduated high school)...then on my own to Lake L...

Fun day when you feel you need to go out (despite having zero desire to do so) to escape your a-hole kid and your a-hole cat. Seriously...this house...fuck off. Judgement and demands...all.day.long. I believe I am PMSing. I usually tolerate the judgement and demands better than I am this weekend. In the meantime I will go meet my sister DT and hang out and have dinner and avoid coming home until the last possible minute so I can watch the Walking Dead and go straight to bed.... and avoid all contact and if there is cat barf on this carpet when I get home I pity the cat.

I changed the name of this blog in order to hopefully spur frequency in my posts. My bloggerness has been pathetic as of late. No excuse. Readership of 3 is not even my excuse. Since all I do is listen to Jeff Buckley these days the reference from his 'So Real' video seemed fitting. If I had a bicycle I would hope gorillas stole it. SEE HERE My obsession with JB is deep....the hours of live performances I have acquired will keep me busy for years...and now dissecting his father's music (Tim Buckley) - searching for little nuggets of references of his abandoned son...it is a full time job ffs. I will say Buckley Sr. had a handful of really beautiful songs, don't like all of his stuff but man...amazing gems in that collection. That lovely voice passed down to Buckley Jr. was taken to a whole other level though...songwriting as well. Still blowing my mind.... My life is consumed by the very obvious fact that finding a new apartment with a cat is going to take a long d...

All I have done for 5 days is listen to Jeff Buckley , read about Jeff Buckley, watch documentaries, movies and interviews and I just started the book about Jeff & Tim Buckley by David Browne called DREAM BROTHER . Needless to say...I am on a Jeff Buckley bender...and I love it. I do this periodically with certain music...JB has been on my radar for years of course but something clicked recently...I started analyzing...as soon as I start analyzing - I am a useless piece of shit until I am done...spent...wore out. Until I am personally satisfied that I know everything I need to know, until I know I have all the material I need to survive.... Kindred spirits in fatherlessness we are...not going to lie...it intrigues me to hear the mental musings of someone who shares a similar childhood. JB lyrics are my favourite...genuine and easy for me to interpret. They are seemingly more straight forward in their beauty and storytelling than most which appeals to me...in contrast - Matthe...

The cat has just shat and now the air quality in here is such that I cannot promise to make this post a worthwhile one. I went and saw a new potential place on Sat. but sadly it was too small. Disappointing b/c the location was ok and it was in a house...I haven't lived in a house for a longgggg time and I am leaning towards a suite in a house for that reason...ONE set of neighbors as opposed to 100 is appealing. But it was not to be. Onward goes the search...in the meantime, the cat is still obsessed with the wall dividing the kitchen and living room...I imagine there are millions of baby rats in there, wigging around, making noise only the cat can hear. She just parks herself and stares at it all.night.long....and during the day. Like she has seen something and knows it will show itself, she just needs to be patient. It has made me extra paranoid. I knock on the wall when I walk by it to disturb whatever is in there...and I am always expecting to come home to a hole chewed th...