Obligatory Purgatory

This getting old business is funny...things you cannot even recall bothering you your whole life suddenly take on this massive importance, ruling your happiness. How did this happen? All these things are just more to add to my already (and growing) long list of neurosis'...and no matter how justified they may be in my head I know how they sound spoken out loud to a third party. What else sucks about getting older....Oh - those moments of crystal clear clarity (they are not the norm any more) where something you already know logically suddenly gets drilled home so hard that your emotional self has a moment of true understanding....like THE moment in your life when you were at a crossroads, though did not know it at the time, and the decision you made at that very fucking moment would ultimately lead you down a path of complete personal and emotional unhappiness. I had that moment this weekend out of nowhere, it was pretty surprising...luckily, the good in your life is not erased ...

I just made 3 batches of rice krispie squares.... Christmas struggles. I gotta work in the morning. House is a dump. Wish I drank.

I just woke up from a dream where our apartment burned down...and we were in the lobby of some other apartment bldg, with nothing but the clothes we had on...there were fired burning all over the place so there were a lot of people displaced. Days when by in this dream, I never knew what time it was or what day...I just waited for some direction of news....then I realized the cat was obviously burned up in the fire and told Miss A "Look, you finally got your wish to have no cat, happy?" {I am a dick even in my dreams}..I also said "Hey, at least we get a new couch now!"... then she went off to a friend's house and I just sat in this lobby...no one was being helpful...I eventually walked down to see my friend Tracey nearby, her apartment had been burning too...I walked through a funeral procession on Quadra Street, the local Money Mart had installed this strange royal purple carpeting..I stared as I walked by wondering wtf day it was when I looked at the hours si...

Well....RIP Scott Weiland. While it seemed like it was just a matter of time - it is amazing that he lived to be 48 honestly. I am amazed at the amount of abuse the human body can endure. Addiction. Evil shit. His poor children.... Listening to some old STP now of course, seemed appropriate. Lots of great songs, great words...forever immortalized in that special way that only dead rock stars seems to accomplish. The weekend is here...hallelujah. Life is rambling on fairly smoothly. Miss A is done work now and concentrating on her class...and the upcoming trip to California for xmas with the famjam in 2 weeks. Will miss her at xmas but it is good she is going to see her grandparents - they are getting up there after all and hanging with the family in Disneyland will be a hoot. Her and little Madelyn are going to have such fun together. After 3 days in D'land (aka Hell on Earth for ppl like me which is why I am not going) she will go see the grandparents and the rest of the fam...

 My kid snapchats me pictures of the cat being a dick...I think it is a sibling type relationship...she finally has someone to rat on.... #onlychildsyndrome

I am at home, late for work, waiting for a UPS delivery...I hate UPS...but I really want my new record player delivered without me having to go arrange pick up/cab etc. b/c it will be heavy and I am a non-lifter gimp now. The Chronicles of the Barking Asshole Dog and It's Even Worse Asshole Owners continues. I have made 2 official complaints...time will tell if they take it seriously or not...All I know is I hate them now and wish they would move b/c I don't see why I have to move b/c they are irresponsible dog owners. I am being very polite right now...you have no idea the level of aggravation this causes me. Went shopping last night with Kate, Ethan and Miss A at the mall. It will be the last time I enter a mall until after xmas. JFC. Soul sucking places. It was fun though in that Miss A never goes anywhere with me - so what if I had to bribe her with buying her new moccasin slippers for xmas that she had to pick out. I have no pride. I regret getting up so early now t...

 

Miss A is at school tonight....I am attempting to make butternut squash soup...This vacation is going by fast as they always do...too bad the work weeks did not fly by at this same pace. Transferring some old video from those little 8mm video tapes over to digital this week...it was the one thing I really wanted to get done this week...I have stumbled across some things I forgot all about...me and Deanna (who has since passed away) on a road trip to Long Beach...a tour of my granny's apartment a few months before she died....lots of footage of Miss A as a little one - been pretty cool to see it all again. Got her having a hissy fit for being sent to her room yelling "YOU ARE TREATING ME LIKE A PILE OF ASHES! KEEPING ME COOPED UP IN HERE ALL DAY!!!" ha ha ha That is a good 5 yr old hissy. I also had the displeasure of watching myself on video, drunk with a bunch of friends and I have to say it is really no wonder I am a single person. My level of volume and obnoxiousne...

Matthew Good at the Alix Goolden Hall Nov. 6 was awesome...he sounded great, the new material was great live...we had good seats b/c I got there at 520pm,  so when the doors opened at 7pm Kim made a b-line to the front to secure front bench seats... This hall is a serene, peaceful sort of venue...I enjoy shows there even though the general admission seating stresses me the F out...Love the feel of the hall, the vibe, very relaxed. What I could do without was the antagonistic attitude of the artist b/c he feels like everyone should have been standing while he sang Army of Lions. I am used to MG being cranky sometimes on stage sometimes...but this show ended up ticking me off b/c it is a bit insulting when standing during a song means more than the fact I buy your albums, vinyl, concert tickets, swag...don't fucking imply I am not enjoying the show or a loyal fan b/c my concert behavior doesn't involve me jumping to my feet during songs you deem worthy of it. Seriously, go f...

Shaved belly...so cute! Intense. I have a thing for catching my cat with her tongue out...not sure why... TAMPON CAT TOY! So little and cute! Seriously...gawd! CAT IN A BAG! Her old cat tree. Relaxed! Chubster phase. So many worldly delights out the window! We are dicks and like to stick stickers on our cat and watcher her freak out. Cat jail. ATTACK MODE! Cat in a bag again! Playing with her Cat's Meow! (She broke the 1st one) Throws up right in my hat, thanks jerk. Cat in a bag!! Cat & Tito....RIP Tito (not the cat's fault) She wrecked a lot of stuff....   Still cute!

The Rat Chronicles continue....I named this post in a non-plural manner for reasons of personal sanity. On Tuesday they are coming to cut a hole in the ceiling and will put traps up there and seal the ceiling off until it is time for trap retrieval. I look fwd to being awoken to the sound of a SNAP! in the night...no lie. I find rodents quite cute generally but GTFO of my abode you little rat bastards! Now that it is being dealt with, so long as none breach the perimeter again I am fine to stay here. If i EVER see one rat turd anywhere though I am out of here faster than fuck. No bullshit. It is federal election time...I am so stressed about this election I have had to consciously TURN.IT.OFF. in my head. I do not know wtf I am going to do if the Cons win again...esp if it is a majority gov't...seriously - I cannot imagine that happening but you just cannot know for sure. I was blown away that Christie the Clown Clark won provincially last election...seriously...? Who is voti...

 My birthday cactus from Ayla...is rather fantastic... So...remember that cute-ish lil dead rodent we found on Ayla's bedroom floor a few weeks ago...? Yeah....now there are CEILING RATS...they scritch & scratch up there all the damn time. Pest control guy says he cannot find any points of entry which is great HAD A SMALL ONE NOT ALREADY BREACHED THE PERIMETER!!!!!!!!! I am choosing to believe it only got in b/c it was small and the big adult rats can't fit. Anyway....the key would be to trap the assholes up in the ceiling and kill them...the pest guy requested the bldg manage cut a hole for him in the ceiling so he could do that but he did not seem to think they would go for it....so...I guess it is expected you just get to live knowing there are rats in the ceiling shitting and pissing all over the place, keeping you up at night and grossing you the fuck out? If they do not allow this trapping in the ceiling it is going to get ugly and we will obviously have to move...

  I love October. Not just b/c it is MY birthday month, I just like it...summer is officially dead by October and the cool weather and falling leaves is such a damn relief every year.   What I would not give to have a dead squirrel lamp!!!  Every day I walk out into the parking lot and think this is a person...ha ha ha love this zombie guy.  Finally put up my new Adam Cramb original...Looks good on the hall wall...Miss A. hates it, says all my art purchases embarrass her - they are all so  creepy....and that's why she never invites ppl over. LIKE THAT HURTS MY FEELINGS. ha. This from the kid who as a preteen and teen who would remove any art from the walls she found gross if she had friends over when I was not home...I would sometimes come home and stuff would be off the walls behind the couch, turned around. One was a Gustav Klimt print b/c it pictured a titty. Not even kidding. Mostly it was the weird Jesus prints which I kind of ...